QUESTION # 209: ONE USELESS BROTHER
Dear Useless Men,
Why does it take Jodster so long to write a new blog?
Ellie
Dear Ellie,
He's Useless.
Would you like to hear the whole story? Well, it's too long! So, I'll summarize.
Being Jodster's brother, I can attest that we have a long history of Useless pursuits in our family. It's a time honoured family tradition.
We'll start with my grandfather's generation. My maternal grandfather spent hours trying to convince his kids, and then his grandkids, to all become professional golfers. A Useless endeavour. I'm so Useless at golf that people let me hit from the woman's tee when I've been with them. I lie on my scorecard and I *still* manage to come in last place.
Our father? His Uselessness is a finely honed skill, something he's been working on for many years. I was his apprentice. I've decided to honour the Uselessness legacy by denying my complete lack of home repair skills three years after I bought a home. If you need more proof, just take a look at JPTH International archives. Plenty of other examples there. (The link is on the side of this site.)
This Uselessness has already been passed down to a new generation. One of our nephew's favourite activities is to bang his head against the wall. He enjoys it so much it brings tears to his eyes. (Actually, I think I better talk to him about that). This alone should pretty much guarantee him growing up into a Useless man. Or a professional golfer. Either way, we’re proud.
If I may get sentimental, blogging has taken Jodster’s life into a new direction. At this point, his life is a boring and uninteresting direction. But be patient. The fact he's taken it this far just shows he's making a lot of stuff up.
This is just a very small sample of the many, many Useless activities, Jodster and I... wait, this is mostly about me.
I'm so Useless. Wow. I should have known since I've been playing guitar for 12 years and still can't get through a whole song. This really hits home. Hmmmm..... oh right the question.
I guess it's because he waits till 11:11 PM to post them, and if he misses that time he has to wait till the next day. What a Useless way to do it.
Sincerely,
One Useless Brother
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If you found my brother's advice useless, please comment in our therapy session.
Why does it take Jodster so long to write a new blog?
Ellie
Dear Ellie,
He's Useless.
Would you like to hear the whole story? Well, it's too long! So, I'll summarize.
Being Jodster's brother, I can attest that we have a long history of Useless pursuits in our family. It's a time honoured family tradition.
We'll start with my grandfather's generation. My maternal grandfather spent hours trying to convince his kids, and then his grandkids, to all become professional golfers. A Useless endeavour. I'm so Useless at golf that people let me hit from the woman's tee when I've been with them. I lie on my scorecard and I *still* manage to come in last place.
Our father? His Uselessness is a finely honed skill, something he's been working on for many years. I was his apprentice. I've decided to honour the Uselessness legacy by denying my complete lack of home repair skills three years after I bought a home. If you need more proof, just take a look at JPTH International archives. Plenty of other examples there. (The link is on the side of this site.)
This Uselessness has already been passed down to a new generation. One of our nephew's favourite activities is to bang his head against the wall. He enjoys it so much it brings tears to his eyes. (Actually, I think I better talk to him about that). This alone should pretty much guarantee him growing up into a Useless man. Or a professional golfer. Either way, we’re proud.
If I may get sentimental, blogging has taken Jodster’s life into a new direction. At this point, his life is a boring and uninteresting direction. But be patient. The fact he's taken it this far just shows he's making a lot of stuff up.
This is just a very small sample of the many, many Useless activities, Jodster and I... wait, this is mostly about me.
I'm so Useless. Wow. I should have known since I've been playing guitar for 12 years and still can't get through a whole song. This really hits home. Hmmmm..... oh right the question.
I guess it's because he waits till 11:11 PM to post them, and if he misses that time he has to wait till the next day. What a Useless way to do it.
Sincerely,
One Useless Brother
Does your brother read your mail? Get Useless Advice from Useless Men today. Click here.
Subscribe to Useless email updates. You never know who might be answering. Why should you? We don't, half the time... Click here.
If you found my brother's advice useless, please comment in our therapy session.
Advice given at
7:47 PM
2 Comments:
can you please reiterate?
By
ms. creek, at 5:46 PM
I think you could be a pro golfer if you just learned to lie better. Good luck with that.
By
Laura, at 10:19 PM
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