QUESTION # 384: USELESS MEN CONSULT DR. PHIL

Dear Useless Men,

Dr. Phil said the only two things he needs to know to keep his wife happy are "yes, dear" and "I really love that". Is this true for all guys, or have other men evolved other ways of keeping the peace/placating women?

Signed,
She Who Must Be Obeyed

Dear Ayesha,

For this question I decided to go straight to the source. That's right. We may be useless, but we've got contacts. I decided to fly Dr. Phil in for a quick meeting of the minds, so to speak, so we could discuss the finer points of this question.

(Disclaimer: This is for real. I've even attached some pictures for you, but in true Useless Men fashion, they're quite terrible.)

Just Plain Useless: So, Phil. Can I call you Phil?

Dr. Phil: Whatever you want boss.

Just Plain Useless: Fantastic. So anyway Phillip, my associates and I give out advice at the website double u double u double u dot dear useless men dot com. One of our very astute readers, however, had a question on one of your practices.

Dr. Phil: Well are you going to ask it?

Just Plain Useless: Oh Bill, you're such a card. Now, this reader knows that the only two things you say to keep your wife happy are "Yes dear" and "I love that." What she's dying to find out is are all men pigs? Or just you?

Dr. Phil: Have you ever even seen my show?

Just Plain Useless: You have a show?

I hope this answers your question, She Who Must Be Obeyed.

Sincerely,
Just Plain Useless


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