QUESTION # 401: READ ME, READ ME, READ ME

Dear Useless Men,

I knew you couldn't resist reading this message. I saw your blog and I was interested having a permanent text link to my site from your site. My site is a free classifieds site and url is http://toronto.eclassifieds4u.com

I am just starting to promote this site and really want to help the Toronto Community by giving this service. Please let me know if you are willing to provide a text link to my site.

Thank you very much for your time and hopefully I will hear from you soon,

Ketan

Dear Ketan,

Gee, Ketan, it was sweet of you to think of us. Thanks. But we do answer every email, so even your tempting spam gets a reply.

We would be more than happy to help you out. We’re still developing our link rates, but we think we’ll start at $200/ day for an obscure mention at the bottom of our page.

For a premium listing half way up the page, it's $800/ day. In U.S. funds only. And we only accept credit card payments. No checks or money orders.

So, send us your credit card information as soon as possible.

And by the way, I don't live in the Toronto area. As a condition of linking to you it will be necessary for you to establish a site for the Canadian Prairie provinces for this partnership to take place.

Actually, now that I think of it, one of the Useless Men is a citizen of the U.S. Would it be possible for you to make this an international venture as well? You’ll have to let us know before we can accept it.

Please take care of this minor detail immediately. Our lawyers are standing by with the necessary paperwork for you to sign.

Oh, and our lawyers don't take checks or money orders either. Just credit cards. And none of those lesser credit cards either. Like Sears or a Diners Card. It must be a platinum credit card from American Express or they won't even summon their secretaries to do the legal work.

Anyways, don't keep us waiting long. Christmas is just around the corner and we want to get an early start on our shopping. We may even find what we’re looking for on your site.

Sincerely,
Another Useless Man

PS – In lieu of the above, did you want to sponsor our monthly contest? Everyone loves contests.


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