QUESTION # 653: DOES SIZE MATTER?
Dear Useless Men,
I know in the past it has been said that size doesn't matter. Are men really silly enough to believe that?
In addition, I feel something about baldness should be mentioned, I'm just not sure what or how it all ties in together.
Anonymous in Ontario
Dear Anonymous,
Anonymous? Really... Stop your hiding YOU Useless Closet Bald-man!
The answer is: Yes men are silly enough to believe it, especially bald men.
Now, that being said, I must go on to say that it depends on the girl – not always the guy as some may speculate. I need not mention the “hotdog down the hallway analogy.”
As for bald, balding and men with receding hairlines, EMBRACE IT! Many, if not most women find bald-men sexy. I might even be so bold as to say hairless men in general are much more attractive.
Your mission should you choose to accept it:
Make the first available appointment at the esthetician and wax, wax, wax and for all you pussy-wussies out there grab a pink-plastic razor with daisies on it and shave. And don’t forget to get out those scissors cut away that comb over and shave your cue-ball smooth.
Sincerely,
One Useless Chick
PS - I was alluding only to the cue-ball attached to your neck … pervert.
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I know in the past it has been said that size doesn't matter. Are men really silly enough to believe that?
In addition, I feel something about baldness should be mentioned, I'm just not sure what or how it all ties in together.
Anonymous in Ontario
Dear Anonymous,
Anonymous? Really... Stop your hiding YOU Useless Closet Bald-man!
The answer is: Yes men are silly enough to believe it, especially bald men.
Now, that being said, I must go on to say that it depends on the girl – not always the guy as some may speculate. I need not mention the “hotdog down the hallway analogy.”
As for bald, balding and men with receding hairlines, EMBRACE IT! Many, if not most women find bald-men sexy. I might even be so bold as to say hairless men in general are much more attractive. Your mission should you choose to accept it:
Make the first available appointment at the esthetician and wax, wax, wax and for all you pussy-wussies out there grab a pink-plastic razor with daisies on it and shave. And don’t forget to get out those scissors cut away that comb over and shave your cue-ball smooth.
Sincerely,
One Useless Chick
PS - I was alluding only to the cue-ball attached to your neck … pervert.
Send your questions to Useless Advice from Useless Men! Click here.
Subscribe to Useless email updates. Click here.
Labels: body and functions, One Useless Chick, sexuality
Advice given at
8:35 PM
4 Comments:
I'll agree with that, that bald is sexy. Although I can think of a few other areas that daisy razor should be applied to as well... lol.
By
Trouble, at 11:48 PM
Wow. I never thought of the whole baldness size connection.
By
Laura, at 10:56 PM
i love bald men with goatees...
the key to baldness in men is to pretend like you shave your head and you choose to be bald. to choose to be bald is sexy. to have baldness thrust upon you, not so sexy.
if you walk around feeling less than perfect because of your baldness, women (and gay men) can sense the insecurity and are turned off.
maybe the same concept is true with "size"?
By
M, at 2:04 AM
Size is really only a problem when its tooo small or too big. And yes being to big can put a real damper on things. If the key doesnt fit the door slamming it in harder and faster still wont get the door open.
Ever notice how some bald men resemble a penis...hmmmmmm
By
honkeie2, at 11:05 AM
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