QUESTION # 655: GOING DUTCH
Dear Useless Men
I'm curious as to WHAT exactly is going through a man's mind when the suggestion of going on a 'date' but paying for one's self, is.
Is that in fact a 'date' or is it a couple a friends hangin' out? I pay my own way all the gawd damn time when I'm out with girlfriends... But should I even consider him to be a potential suitor if I have to cover my half?
Thanks!
ps
What if he drinks/eats more than I do?
What does etiquette dictate in that circumstance???
Dear Curious,
I can appreciate your frustration here. In this modern day of political correctness and equal rights I can understand that there would be confusion when it comes to etiquette. More families are eating in front of the TV. Kids are encouraged to talk back to their parents and more men are becoming stay at home Dads. It's all very progressive.
As a man, albeit a Useless one (but a man all the same), I can, with confidence and authority, say that sometimes I want to pay for myself whilst on a date, especially early on when we're still getting to know each other.
Now I know it's not just me, but I feel if I let my lady friend pay for everything on our date, I can't help but think she may be expecting something from me in return. I just don't want to lead my date on and have her disappointed if I'm not ready for "that" kind of intimacy.
You're probably thinking I'm some prudish Masculinist who burned boxers in the 60's, but I assure you I am not. I was born in 1976 and my parents wouldn't let me play with matches till I was 7. You do the math.
It's 1983.
But I digest.
It is commonly thought that the best marriages are those that begin as friends. That is why I always let my buddies pay for me all the time. I mean, what kind of friend mooches off his buddies all the time? Certainly not one you want to settle down with. If I were you, I'd be more concerned about your girlfriends who make sure you cover your share. That makes you a financially stable woman who is responsible, considerate and independent ... which is exactly what I'm looking for in a wife.
Think about that.
So next time you find yourself on a date, let the man pay for his own meal and you'll find yourself building not acquisitions, but a friendship.
A friendship with benefits?
Sincerely,
One Useless Brother
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I'm curious as to WHAT exactly is going through a man's mind when the suggestion of going on a 'date' but paying for one's self, is.
Is that in fact a 'date' or is it a couple a friends hangin' out? I pay my own way all the gawd damn time when I'm out with girlfriends... But should I even consider him to be a potential suitor if I have to cover my half?
Thanks!
ps
What if he drinks/eats more than I do?
What does etiquette dictate in that circumstance???
Dear Curious,
I can appreciate your frustration here. In this modern day of political correctness and equal rights I can understand that there would be confusion when it comes to etiquette. More families are eating in front of the TV. Kids are encouraged to talk back to their parents and more men are becoming stay at home Dads. It's all very progressive.
As a man, albeit a Useless one (but a man all the same), I can, with confidence and authority, say that sometimes I want to pay for myself whilst on a date, especially early on when we're still getting to know each other.
Now I know it's not just me, but I feel if I let my lady friend pay for everything on our date, I can't help but think she may be expecting something from me in return. I just don't want to lead my date on and have her disappointed if I'm not ready for "that" kind of intimacy.
You're probably thinking I'm some prudish Masculinist who burned boxers in the 60's, but I assure you I am not. I was born in 1976 and my parents wouldn't let me play with matches till I was 7. You do the math.
It's 1983.
But I digest.
It is commonly thought that the best marriages are those that begin as friends. That is why I always let my buddies pay for me all the time. I mean, what kind of friend mooches off his buddies all the time? Certainly not one you want to settle down with. If I were you, I'd be more concerned about your girlfriends who make sure you cover your share. That makes you a financially stable woman who is responsible, considerate and independent ... which is exactly what I'm looking for in a wife.
Think about that.
So next time you find yourself on a date, let the man pay for his own meal and you'll find yourself building not acquisitions, but a friendship.
A friendship with benefits?
Sincerely,
One Useless Brother
Send your questions to Useless Advice from Useless Men! Click here.
Subscribe to Useless email updates. Click here.
Labels: dating, etiquette, One Useless Brother
Advice given at
9:39 PM
1 Comments:
I read somewhere that the reason women should let men pay for the date is because women spend so much money getting ready for the date...apparently we have makeup, hair remover, perfume, lingerie expenses that men don't have.
So...really, by that logic, whoever groomed the least for the date should pay. Believe me, that is not always the man!
By
M, at 1:13 PM
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